There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You pole danced in your parka.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
