Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
