Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Little spoons don't ask big questions
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
