pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
