I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I need moral support for this bender
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
