They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
