Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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