Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
