i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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