Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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