Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
