My underwear smells like fireworks.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
