My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
