I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize