I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
