Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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