Buhtt sex?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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