Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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