I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
