He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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