i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
