But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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