I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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