I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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