The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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