his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
