she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
