Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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