operation have a gay friend backfired
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
