Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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