Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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