I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
