Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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