sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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