scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I skipped work to stalk him.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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