I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
