I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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