i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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