There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
i think im in europe. pls send help
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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