What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
it was like eating out sand paper
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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