Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
