CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
