47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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