You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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