I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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