I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Non-Jews are for practice
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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