the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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