She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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