I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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