Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
