you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
