Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
