we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
