nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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