i already hear my dad disowning me
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
