shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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