guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
