Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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