I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
