Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
